The definition of confidence is the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust. Everyone knows that trust is needed in many areas of our lives.
If you are a rider, you need to have trust in not only your abilities but also that your horse can learn right along with you.
In the work world, you need to trust that you have the skills needed for your job and that you are smart enough to do and learn more to be eligible for promotions.
If you are an entrepreneur you need to know in your gut that you can run the company, hire the right people and put out a great product.
What happens when you don’t trust yourself?
What if you recently lost a large client and now feel unsure as to what direction to go in next?
What if you had an accident on your horse and now have lost confidence in your abilities?
Living in this world without the trust and knowledge that you can accomplish what you set out to do, whether it be in your work life, hobbies or even family life, will diminish your chances of success and quickly take you off course.
Even more important, confidence in the face of adversity is the hallmark of champions and there will be days where your patience, knowledge and attitude are tested.
The answer to gaining back your confidence is threefold:
1. KEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS REALISTIC
This does not mean that you are to let go of what you’ve been chasing, or that you should stop trying to be the best. What it does mean is that you need to check in and make sure that your expectations are jiving with your schedule, environment, money and time needed to make it happen.
Do you truly have enough in each of those buckets to make that expectation come true? Maybe you need more time to earn $10,000 per month, if so - be lenient with yourself and stay flexible. Make sure you set yourself up for success and not failure. Don’t have a pie in the sky expectation of yourself that you know you won’t achieve simply because you have not factored in enough time or resources to make it happen.
2. FOCUS ON YOUR CONFIDENCE INSTEAD OF YOUR POOR RESULTS
Don’t focus on the lay off from your company, the injury you recently had or the large client that just left the building.
It happened, move on.
Remember that there are no failures, only lessons.
Focus on the strengths you have that WILL move you forward.
In business, focus on that medium size client you’ve been thinking about calling that might be a perfect company to co-create with. This could be the client you might have thought was not quite big enough to work with, yet upon reflection – they could be a wonderful match for your skill set and their business. Marrying the two might revolutionize the industry, so don’t write them off and only go for the larger clients that might be unattainable.
For a rider, go back to a “safe place” you and your horse know like the back of your hand. It could be a 20-meter circle or using cones to practice simple transitions.
FUN FACT: This tool is a good thing to have in your back pocket, especially as you are learning new
maneuvers. Every time you or your horse feels uncomfortable, you should have a place that
provides you both confidence and gives you both a little bit of breathing room to try again.
In short, focus on what you do well. Don’t chastise yourself, instead use positive self-talk as encouragement. This is your new base camp of where you feel comfortable and are able to try again. Here is where you will regain your strength.
3. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
Many times, there are things we think that are out of our control, yet there are many areas of our lives where we are in complete control.
If you work in the 9-5 are not happy, you may not be able to control where you sit, but you can control what goes into your cubicle or office. Strive to make it yours with positive pictures that will help boost your morale throughout the day.
An entrepreneur usually can control all aspects of their business. If you don’t like your surroundings, change it. If you don’t like what you are wearing, change it. If you don’t like your management style, you can change that too.
The equestrian also has control over many areas of their riding including the type of tack you use with your horse. If you have a saddle that does not fit properly, you need to change it so that it works for you and your horse, instead of against you. You have the capacity to decide where on the property you would like to train. You can choose your trainer, friends you ride with and discipline. (Please don’t feel beholden to a discipline just because everyone else is riding that way at your barn.) Ride the way you and your horse are most comfortable and happy.
It may take some time, but I am betting you have more control in certain areas of your life than you realize. You are the creator of your life and everything you see around you is there because you made it so.
Strive to change what you can control so that it benefits you at all times and think of it as a non-negotiable. To be happy you MUST feel not only good but confident, you need to know that you CAN complete new tasks and you ARE going to make an impact.